Discussions
by inheritance98
Summary: In discussions we will discuss multiple ideas, books, movies, and other stuff with humor, literalism, and sarcasm, the lowest form of wit. Some big questions will be answered, though you may not like the answers. May not include inheritance characters in the first chapter. I hope you find it very humorous.
1. Chapter 1

**(AN)Hello and welcome to Discussions! In this...drabble I think, my avatars, Mini me and Big Me,(until I think of some cooler **

**names) will be your hosts in Discussions. Allow me to explain them, Big me can choose whether or not (or what are)mini me's**

**powers are, and how badly he gets hurt. He has no form ether and doesn't talk much. Mini Me has a form and allows big me to **

**speak. He does the talking. Continuing on in this we will discuss many different sayings, ideas, books, movies, cartoons, and **

**other things. We will occasionally have characters visit as "guests" and talk with them. Until I get a better setting, we will be **

**teleporting or using the white room. I am open to suggestions of what to discus. Enjoy!**

**Big me**

Mini Me

"Hello, I'm Mini Me, or MM for short. Today we will be discussing the movie Avatar, how inappropriate language is dealt with in

cartoons, and an age old puzzle**." **MM said. "Now from the movie Avatar, why is the human fortress called Hell's Gate? Well I think it is called

Hell's gate because when Humans enter it, they get a harsh environment, which is tempting for its life and ore, like the Greek myth of

Pandora's box which contained many horrors (probably why they call it Pandora). When the Navi cross it they get an alien and almost lifeless

world. When humans and Navi don't cross they get along fine. However, when they cross and they fight, its devastating. Thus Hell's gate."

MM said, before gasping for breath.

Then MM cleared his throat and said "Another question is, who is stronger, human or navi? We took Neytiri and Quaritch to earth to find out

with an arm wrestling match, but Neytiri collapsed from the greater gravity, so we took them to Pandora. Then Quaritch began to suffocate,

and we took them to zero gravity but the table floated away. Finally we took them to the white room, but they both tried to strangle me for

moving them around." MM said while rubbing his bruised neck. "It was nice to see human and navi working together though," MM added

thoughtfully,"even though Neytiri said I was aptly named for my size." He finished with a scowl. "Moving on." We actually have a question

from Aang the last airbender, lets read it. Dear MM, Why wasn't I in it?" MM sighed. "Aang we know your movie wasn't accurate, but you

can't have another one (please go all glowy)." he said tentatively.

"Next subject" MM said hurriedly, "How many times has something like this happened in some form of media?"

_(bomb is about to go off) "Awww, sh-(boom)_

"What I love about this is that it discourages swearing. I mean, how many people would swear if they knew they would get blown up, shot,

run over etc,etc for swearing?" MM laughed. " If it was real human overpopulation wouldn't be a problem. However since I'm not real, and

Big Me hates swearing, I have to be careful about what I say.(you lucky stiffs!)Anyway you won't get a demonstration today, sorry

(NOT REALLY). MM said nervously. "Moving on" he added.

"Finally, but not least, we will answer the age old question asked every day." MM said ominously. Taking a deep breath he said,

"_How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"_ Today we will find out by bestowing the ability to chuck

wood to a wood chuck. Please welcome Puxksotony Phil!" Phil lumbered into the white room, saw his shadow and proceeded to beat it with a

log from a stack of logs put out by MM. " No, no, no, no, no your supposed to chuck the wood." MM clapped his hands and the lights dimmed,

erasing the shadow. "Now begin!" MM urged. Phil sat there. "Please chuck the wood?" MM asked? Phil scratched his head and yawned.

"JUST CHUCK THE WOOD ALREADY!" MM screamed, resulting with a log chucked in his face. "Fine, go back to your dam home or what ever."

MM said spiting out splinters. He froze, "Do woodchucks live in dams?" he said quietly.

**NO**

MM swallowed and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, looks like you will get a demonstration after all." As a hooded executioner approached. MM

watched in horror as the hooded figure lifted its hood and said, " I like trains."

"Noooooooooooo!" Mini screamed, "Aw, sh-" before he got hit by a train.

Question of the day: What would happen If a woodchuck (with out attitude) cooperated to chuck wood?

**I hope you enjoyed this, because MM didn't. He's going around calling Phil some nasty things. Scratch that, he can't go around **

**because he is in a full body cast.**

**(AN)I hoped you enjoyed, Please R and R and don't forget I'm open to suggestions. (Updated authors note), This is really bad. Poorly written, poor humor, and hard to make sense of. Chapter Two is better I think, but I would like to know if I should try to salvage the wreak of this one-shot, or try a more serious story plot.**


	2. A unlucky belated New years

**AN: I haven't gotten any reviews but please do. This is my first fanfic. I do not own anything. This is to be purely entertainment. Enjoy**

* * *

**Big Me BM**

Mini Me MM

"Hello and welcome to the belated New years special of discussions! We had some problems setting up, but were good now. The only discussion we will have is whether 2013 will be unlucky or not. The rest is for entertainment. We have characters from Inheritance cycle, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Hunger games, the Avengers, Avatar, and Avatar the last airbender. A few zombies were thrown in too." MM said. (canned applause) "Very funny BM, now can it before I go crazy like the Disney show characters." MM said flatly. (more canned laughter) "CAN IT ALREADY!" MM shouted.

**But its already-**

"You know what I meant." MM said then took a breath to calm himself. "Moving on, we are in a high tech theater with a lobby, medic room, cafeteria, anvils hanging from the ceiling to keep the characters under control, and a giant gorilla tested safe for the champagne." he said

**You think that's going to keep them out?**

"Well what's stronger than a gorilla?" MM asked.

**Dragons, Hulk, Thor, Ironman, gods-**

"Okay, Okay." MM sighed. "We also have a security team to keep the peace."

**Again, do you really-**

"Fine!" MM cut BM off, "We now have 50 swat teams to keep the peace, but our guests will not be uncomfortable."

"I'm not comfortable." Bruce said gazing at the swat members.

" Make him comfortable." MM said and a team went to take care of him. Needless to say they failed. Maybe it was his past experience with them. "Any way our ex-security team are now butlers. Enough with the intro lets begin!" MM said.

* * *

MM walked in front of the screen, which was showing premiers, and cleared his throat and said, "Hello I'm your host and today-" he was cut off by Mr. D who said, "Move, your blocking the screen!"

"I'm sorry Mr.D, but is a preview for my little pony more interesting then me?" MM said icily.

"Yes, Now move Tiny Tim." Mr.D responded. MM stood stunned for a second before turning off the screen and continuing.

"Today I will introduce some you to new years traditions, and we will discuss if 2013 will be unlucky. Just when I was relived I lived through 2012..." MM said.

"Why did you think 2012 would end?" Eragon asked.

"Some guy a thousand years ago got tired of making a thousand year calendar in stone." MM said simply.

"The world might end in 2013." Percy said.

"Why?" MM asked hurriedly.

"Because if my friends and I don't stop the Giants-"Percy was cut off by MM.

"We all know your story Percy."

"No we don't." most of the room said.

"Look I'm not explaining it." MM sighed

"You would think we would get a break, especially after last time." Percy muttered.

"Why is the number 13 considered unlucky anyway?" Ron asked.

"There was this movie called Friday the thirteenth. BM said something about it was funny and it was a comedy about superstitions. Lets just watch it." MM said. " But don't throw any thing at the screen, it's all acting. I personally don't think 13 is unlucky."

* * *

1 and a half hours later the screen was riddled with holes, spears, arrows, and slash marks." Well..." MM squeaked, "That wasn't very funny. I'm going to change my underpants and get something to settle my stomach." There were nods of agreement, and everybody stampeded out of the theater. MM talked with BM, "I thought you said it was funny! I might be leaning to the number thirteen being unlucky now too."

**I was talking about peoples face's when they watch it, like yours especially.**

"Be quiet." MM mumbled before he headed to the cafeteria. On the way he passed Hawkeye and Katniss filling at painting with holes. "Go find something less expensive to shoot at." he snapped. A arrow whistled by his ear. MM grimaced and stormed to the food line. MM caught Grover trying to eat a fork. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. They are all dipped in cyanide." MM said proudly, thinking he had stopped Grover from eating the expensive silver ware. However, he stopped everyone from eating food also (No one took a bite yet).

"What are we going to eat with then?" Arya asked.

"Your fingers of course." MM said quickly, realizing his mistake and covering it.

"How do we eat soup with our fingers?" Annabeth asked.

"Slowly." MM retorted. "Mind the zombies, they think finger food is your fingers." he added.

"I didn't know that zombie's could use computers." Thalia said.

"That's not a zombie, that's a obsessed fanfic writer." MM corrected. "It's hard to tell the difference. "MM sat down and observed the room. He noticed Neytiri looked rather jittered. MM got some fake blood, a machete, and a hockey mask, then dressed accordingly. He snuck up on her, anticipating revenge for her trying to suffocate him, for then screamed like a bloodthirsty maniac. Neytiri shrieked and shot an arrow randomly. It landed in MM knee, and he went down screaming like a little girl. There were a couple congratulations to Neytiri.

* * *

"It's okay." the doctor said as MM tested his weight on his bandaged knee. "Thanks" MM muttered, before leaving to return to the theater. He snapped at Katniss and Hawkeye to stop shooting at stuff and head to the theater. He turned to see a self portrait of himself riddled with arrows. "That's just mean." he muttered. As he continued on the way he came across Fred, George, Travis, and Conner carrying a large sack of dung bombs.

"We are planning on pranking everybody, you want to help?" Fred asked.

"I used to be a prankster, but then I took an arrow to the knee." MM lifted his leg for them to see. They all looked at each other and quickly went away.

"Why do they all think I'm crazy?" MM said to himself.

**Because you are talking to yourself?**

"Ha, ha. Are the villains occupied so they don't cause trouble ?" MM asked

**Yep**

* * *

A group of villains were huddled outside in the rain, watching a sock puppet show. "Yay! The New Years pebble dropped! Lets kiss!" The sock puppets proceeded to make out. Someone vomited and said "Well this stinks."

* * *

MM walked on stage and announced, "We will now watch the new years ball drop." and a picture of the New years ball appeared. The unfamiliar people panicked at the size of it, thinking it would drop and crush people. A very drunk Ironman announced he would save the day and flew off. Wait, where did he get the drink? MM thought and was answered by a loud roar coming from a giant hole in the safe. there were a couple of stray bottles strewn about the entrance, which were quickly snatched by Mr.D and the Party ponies. MM nervously approached the entrance and asked, " Um, Saphira? would you mind sharing with the allowed drinkers?" his response was a wave of champagne smelling fire that singed his eyebrows. MM quickly returned his attention to the TV and urged everyone to do the same.

* * *

"10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1! HAPPY NEW YEAR the people from Percy Jackson, Some people from Avatar, and Harry Potter shouted. The rest stared at them like they were maniacs. "...Why are they kissing?" Arya asked.

"It's a New Years tradition to kiss people near you." MM explained. Then he noticed he was next to Nar Garvazog and fled to the other side of the room. MM gasped for breath at a safe distance, and looked around. Some people were fidgeting nervously, Some people were kissing, like the zombies. Wait, what? It looked like they were eating each others faces. No, they really were eating each others faces. MM left the theater to throw up. Meanwhile Arya and Eragon were fidgeting nervously. "Do you want to, um..." Eragon said. Arya bit her lip nervously.

"Will you hurry it up already?" MM said causing them to jump. " If you guys kiss, this fanfic might get some reviews. Heck you have it easy, Katniss has to choose between Gale and Peeta, and Katara has to choose between Zuko and Aang. If they choose wrong and get me bad reviews they get an anvil on the head." MM said.

MM left Arya and Eragon who were about to kiss when suddenly Mr.D grabbed a gun and shot it in the air(What?He's the god of partying) in celebration. Of course the bullet ricocheted and made a anvil fall on a increasingly uncomfortable Bruce's toe, who turned into the Hulk and went on a rampage. The party ponies started to party their way, and a couple of their arrows hit Saphira who staggered out drunkenly. Saphira accidentally hit Katara and caused Aang to go into the Avatar state. The swat teams tried to keep order, but made more chaos. Anvils started to fall and crush things. It didn't help that the pranksters dropped their dung bombs ether. The cabbage guys cart got smashed and as he was about to scream, MM and BM had a brief conversation. "Would you?"

**Yes**

A anvil fell and crushed the cabbage guy. "Thanks, you know maybe we shouldn't have hosted at theater 13," MM said observing the chaos. "13 is definitely unlucky."

**Agreed. Based on this event, I think 2013 will be very unlucky. O, and heads up.**

"Wha?" MM looked up to see the bottom of a falling anvil.

* * *

Question: Will 2013 be unlucky?

**Yes, and I think MM agrees, but I can't tell through his cast.**

**AN: Please R and R! I hoped you enjoyed. Sorry if you wanted it to be worded better.**


End file.
